How'd it feel making her break her religion?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Girls should come with a carfax report
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
