my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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