i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
