drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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