I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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