i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
