oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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