If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize