yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you traded sex for a burrito?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
