She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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