Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
whose parrot is this?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
