the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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