Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
