New invention idea: vibrating tampons
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
