Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize