dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
