And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
