walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
