It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
