some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
