im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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