AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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