just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
