one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
