escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
