So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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