Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize