Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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