How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
