He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
