I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
