It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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