My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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