what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
