We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize