omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
