Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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