True but thats because hes a fetus.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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