After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize