I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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