Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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