thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I have post one night stand depression
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