So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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