Jerry, you need to find god
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
