Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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