Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
