I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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