So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
