he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
