i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
