just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
