The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
