Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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