Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
