I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
