Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
