He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
