She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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