Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
