Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
