next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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