I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
