Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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