He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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