Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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