i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
