brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
