Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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