your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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